long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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