by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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