he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
