So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
