i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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