Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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