all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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