I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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