So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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