hell yes lets make some ravioli
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
