K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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