people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
