That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
