i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
