I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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