You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
