so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
