I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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