Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
3pm strippers are depressing
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
