its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
being pregnant is like rehab
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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