he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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