Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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