I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
