I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
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