Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
