She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
