I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
organizing the empties. That sober.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
