You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
You're a waste of cheezeits
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
