please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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