life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
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