So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I have fence marks all over my body
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
