just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
