I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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