its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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