It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
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