my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
