Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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