No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
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