She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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