Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
