I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
