nut hugger
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
