Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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