I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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