Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize