he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
