try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
