The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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