Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
