I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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