Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize