She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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