is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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