once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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