what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
