I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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