All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
