People in love make me want to vomit
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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