I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
