just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
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all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Help. Why am I so naked?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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