I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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