So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.