Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket