they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed