I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
