i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
